Last week Glennon Doyle Milton of Momastery gave her first TED Talk, All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned in the Mental Hospital. If you aren’t familiar with Glennon, mom blogger, the name of her blog is not “Mom mastery” but a play on the word Monastery. She refers to her followers as Monkees. Glennon speaks the truth of being a recovering alcoholic and bulimic and how this affects her family. Her TED Talk spoke on honoring feelings instead of masking them with different capes. I just love the way she addressed honoring our feelings.
Glennon introduces her Ted Talk on her blog with this-
The world doesn’t need more “strong” superheroes hiding the truth of who they really are beneath capes of perfection, shame, cruelty, snark, addiction, or apathy. We need more plain old “weak” people who are brave enough to come out of hiding. We need more messy, honest, fully human beings who will volunteer to tell the truth about who they are – who will live shamelessly out in the scary, messy world.
It’s braver to be Clark Kent than it is to be Superman.
I asked a couple of our Vend Raleigh life coaches to watch and chime in on Glennon’s video. Here’s what they had to say…
Last week a talk by Momastery, Glennon Doyle Melton, was sent to me and as I was watching her talk, it made me think about some things. For each of us, this talk will bring up something different, but I hope everyone will take a moment to listen to your true-self speaking.
From the outside, it is easy to put on the cape and pretend you are something different than you are, but when you show up as the authentic person you are meant to be you will begin to see the true benefits inside. It is easy to get pulled in different directions, but when you connect to yourself from the inside out, you will be on the right path. When you look inside and accept the perfectness of who you are in this moment right now, you will find true happiness.
It is easy to hide behind the things like addiction, guilt or even fear, but when you are true to yourself and love that person inside no matter what, you will find true freedom and acceptance. It is time to take off the mask and accept you, love you and honor you! Be you, the true person you are meant to be, flaws and all. When you are authentically you, you are perfect!
From Gaye Esser, Redefine Balance
Social media and technology have upped the ante of comparison in a society riddled with perfectionism and unrealistic ideals, and for some of us, have paralyzed us from honoring our authenticity and examining our own reasons for what makes us tick as wives, mothers, friends, daughters, and parents . On the plus side, it has also been a stage for those of us brave enough to tell our stories with a real voice and perspective, and to talk about the “shadow” sides of ourselves that we have finally made peace with. Years ago it was Erma Bombeck, an honest and humorist voice who wrote about the trials and tribulations of motherhood in a bygone era. Today she has been succeeded by women like Louise Hay, Brene Brown, and Debbie Ford and bloggers like Jill Smokler, and Glennon Doyle Melton from Momastery. They are a breath of fresh air for those of us who have struggled to let go of perfection and have buried our true feelings under what Glennon calls our “superhero capes.” Their witty perspectives allow us to feel that we are not alone, and that we are doing okay in a world where many struggle every day to keep up the façade that they have it all together.
I didn’t become a life and health coach by accident. The desire to do so came when I finally began to examine and remove my own many capes I had been collecting for a good part of my life. Among them low self- esteem, resentment, and guilt, compounded by the enormity of grief that followed when my only brother died suddenly 12 years ago. Instead of confronting the grief and the feelings that accompanied, I chose to keep my own broken self carefully preserved and protected with the heavy lead capes of people pleasing and supermom perfectionism. My solution to grief was to control and “fix” my family after our devastating loss. I did everything I thought I was “supposed” to do and anything everyone else wanted and needed me to do, because to say no, or to not keep up meant weakness and failure to my already fragile self-esteem. It was finally 6 years later, after the birth of my third child, when I found it became harder and harder to pretend I was fine. I suffered from mild postpartum depression, and quickly plummeted to my personal rock bottom. On the outside, I had everything I had ever aspired for and more, and was a role model to my peers. I had a loving faithful husband, 3 healthy children, a beautiful home, and wonderfully supportive family and friends. On the inside I was sad, defeated and broken and I felt guilty for feeling that way.
In 2009 I finally took conscious control and continued on my journey into mind- body health and wellness. I successfully learned to control the only things I could; my thoughts, my diet, and how I only, reacted to situations and stress. I learned to take care of myself and to honor my needs. I accepted myself as a unique individual not just a mom, and wife. By doing so I gave myself the green light to let all my insecurities come to the surface instead of trying to push them down like bubbles in a glass of soda that always rise back up. I began to let the all the feelings that shaped my dark self to take center stage, and as I continued to learn about myself and to honestly share the stories that shaped those feelings, it became easier and easier to own them and ultimately to let them go. Releasing them made more room inside for my talents and gifts and helped me regain the passion for life that I used to feel. It also inspired me to go back to school and to start my own business, so I may now share professionally my insights with others.
From Melissa Mahar, Windrose Life Coaching
I hope this post encourages you to take off your capes. Being transparent with family and friends and certainly those we work with can be scary and very uncomfortable, but there is a lot of freedom in truth. Chime in and give us your thoughts!